When my relationship ended out of the blue, I was completely blindsided, and it hit me harder than anything I've ever experienced. Despite navigating through some tough situations over my 39 years, nothing compared to the gut-wrenching pain of heartbreak. It was rock bottom. I cried more than I ever thought possible, and at that moment, happiness felt like a distant memory. The days that followed felt like an eternity, filled with relentless questioning of myself and my choices. How did things go so wrong? I had invested my heart and soul into this relationship, believing it was my forever. Was he truly the man of my dreams, the one who fulfilled all my desires and aspirations? If so, why did he walk away, leaving me shattered?
Then something clicked. Why was I so devastated over someone who had been slowly breaking my heart for years? I had yearned for marriage and children, while he did not, and I was even willing to abandon those dreams for him. I firmly believe the universe intervened because I had grown too comfortable, too complacent to make changes myself. It wasn't just about comfort; I had lost sight of my worth and silenced my voice—not because he stifled it, but because I buried it away, hoping to fit into his world. In the pursuit of love and acceptance, I had sacrificed my identity, molding myself to fit his mold.
As someone who constantly sought external sources for happiness and fulfillment, I clung to anyone who offered even a glimpse of it. I didn't know how to find it within myself, and honestly, I doubted its existence. Sitting alone in my new apartment, abandoned by friends who had only been there as part of a couple, I felt the weight of loneliness like never before. I knew I couldn't continue down this path; it was suffocating. At 37, with time ticking, my first instinct was to rush back into the dating scene, hoping to find the perfect partner to start a family. But each date felt hollow, my heart still tethered to the past. I realized this wasn't healthy. My dream of motherhood lingered, but I questioned how many fertile years remained. I wanted my next relationship to be the one—the fulfilling, soul-deep connection we all dream of. And I knew settling for less wasn't an option.
Yet, to find that dream relationship, I needed to embark on a journey back to myself. I didn't know who I was anymore, what I truly desired, or what kind of partner would complement me. This journey wasn't easy; it surpassed the challenges of my past, including my time in a psychiatric ward and the pain of heartbreak. Rediscovering myself, reclaiming every aspect of my being, was terrifying yet necessary. But with each hardship came a glimmer of hope, illuminating why this journey was crucial for every woman. To reach a place of self-awe and genuine self-love, independent of external achievements or validations, is transformative. When you truly appreciate yourself, regardless of societal standards, magic happens. Life becomes lighter, freer, and above all, easier.
Through this healing journey, I discovered my true self, my passions, and my deepest desires. It was a profound awakening, the most empowering experience of my life. I knew I couldn't keep this revelation to myself; I had to empower other women to embark on their own journey of self-discovery, healing, and self-love. That's why I pursued certification as an empowerment coach, graduating in under a year, and am now pursuing my master empowerment certification. Helping women recognize their worth, chase their dreams, and love themselves before seeking love from others has become my life's mission.
I still yearn for love, but I've learned it's something sacred, not to be found with a swipe. It will come when the time is right, without me needing to search. However, the path to motherhood isn't as straightforward. Yet, in the 21st century, single women have options. You don't need a partner to have a child; all you need is a good doctor, a supportive network, and a vial of sperm. So here I am, amidst the most beautiful journey of my life—motherhood, a journey that began when I welcomed my son in May 2023. I've realized that I've always possessed the power to be everything I desire. It's life's circumstances and societal pressures that bury that power beneath layers of doubt. But when you chip away at the clay, uncovering your true essence, magnificent things happen.
Your life transforms in ways you never thought possible. And trust me, your life will change
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